• Mohd Faisal

What must I do in order to become a Vampire? : A smart guide for Night Crawlers.

They are immortal, charming, strong, fast and bloodthirsty…

Well, first of all, you have to understand, what is a vampire and where they live?

Nowadays, vampires have become more like a fashion icon than disgusting bloodsucking creatures, thanks to mainstream media and cinema. There are tons of vampire-themed movies and series such as vampire diaries, Dracula movies, CastleVania, etc. responsible for that.

But, does anyone saw a vampire? May be or Maybe not. Because... if anyone saw vampire then that would be his/her last moment. That is why people don't really know anything about Vampires.

The best thing to do in order to become a vampire is to imitate the popular image of the vampire created by mainstream media and cinema.

But before moving ahead, let’s check out some requirements to become a vampire.

You cannot follow any Abrahamic region (Judaism, Christianity, Islam) or any other religion in which consuming blood is prohibited such as Hinduism, Buddhism or Sikhism, etc.

Remember Quote:

"Bring a vampire around, people start discovering religion."

Richard Layman, The Stake

(However, you can skip the blood-drinking part by taking other substitutes such as beetroot juice, red sherbet, or any red-colored drink)

Be ready to face severe criticism and framed as evil worshippers or followers of Satan.

You can’t face direct sunlight.

So, in order to become a vampire, you must strictly follow below given steps:

Step One:

Wear Only Black Dresses (including innerwear).

Yep, you are nightcrawler and creature of the dark. Black dress not only looks cool but also helps vampires to camouflage and quickly disappear in the environment. That is why Dark Night “Batman” always wears a black costume.

Step Two:

Be a nocturnal Creature.

It is very important for any vampire to adopt a nocturnal lifestyle. Have you ever wondered why they are so pale? Well, this may be the reason behind that. Your skin will become hyper-sensitive to the sunlight after long-term absence of direct exposure to sun rays.

Vampires are nocturnal, wear dark color and suck the blood of other mammals that is why they are associated with vampire bats. (but in reality, they have nothing to do with bats.)

Remember the quote:

"We enjoy the night, the darkness, where we can do things that aren't acceptable in the light. The night is when we slake our thirst."

William Hill, Vampire's Kiss

But keep in mind that Vampires have nothing to do with bats. This image was created by mainstream media. Stay away from bats because they are carriers of many deadly diseases and the most recent example is Coronavirus (Corvid 19).

Step three:

Walk Calmly and Talk Slowing with a particular mannerism (Like Count Dracula).

If you are a vampire or want to be a vampire, then your body gestures and mannerism must reflect who you are. You should walk calmly with grace like you wear a long cape similar to batman. You should avoid shouting, unnecessary laughing (except evil laugh), and complaining about things.

Step Four:

Consider yourself as a higher-level creature then ordinary human. (Not in the sense of race or ethnicity but as mentally)

Yep, it sounds little narcissistic but it is the core of the whole concept of the vampirism. One cannot be a vampire unless he/she considers himself/herself as true blood and superior to others (Not in the sense of race or ethnicity but as mentally)

Step Five:

Be secretive.

Secrecy is another main characteristic of a vampire. You can not reveal your true identity to others because it will cause lots of trouble to you and your loved ones. That is the reason why most of the vampires live alone in their mentions or houses.

Remember the quote:

“The vampire is an outsider. He's the perfect metaphor for those things. He's someone who looks human and sounds human but is not human, so he's always on the margins.:”

Anne Rice, interview, The Daily Beast, November 23, 2011

Step Six:

Be a Scholar, Art and Music Lover.

A true vampire is also an art lover and scholar. Read Gothic literature as much as you can. You should learn how to play any musical instrument (Violin recommended) and painting. Try to adopt the Gothic lifestyle in your daily routine.

Remember the old saying:

“They had forgotten the first lesson, that we are to be powerful, beautiful, and without regret.”

Anne Rice, Interview with the Vampire

Step seven:

Paint your house black entirely and include black furniture also if you can.

Since, you are a vampire, you must live in a completely black house in order to replicate the looks and ambiance of a cave.

Remember the quote:

“It's almost as if we each have a vampire inside us. Controlling that beast, that dark side is what fascinates me.”

Sherry Lee, interview, Cinefantastique Magazine.

Step eight:

Drink Blood (just joking) or its alternatives.

This one is the most difficult thing to achieve. Yes, it is true that vampires live on the nutritional values of blood and totally depend upon the blood of mammals.

Note: before taking this serious step, here is the warning for you:

Blood is a very rich source of Iron (Fe). Here, you can see the structure of hemoglobin where Iron (Fe) is at the center of the structure.

You should keep a distance from blood-drinking. yeah, yeah you are a vampire and you can't avoid blood drinking but there are three main reasons why you should not try this.

Reason first: It is a crime.

Reason second: It is immoral and unethical.

Reason third: It is a highly dangerous and super unhealthy food. why?

Well, let me tell you some scientifically proven facts.

The human body is not designed to get rid of iron easily. That is why, there is a very high risk of having iron overdose, which can cause the following problems:

Heart disease, Diabetes, Liver damage, Fluid build-up in the lungs, Dehydration, Low blood pressure, Nerve problems, Arthritis, and the condition known as hemochromatosis.

Some animals, like vampire bats, require a high level of iron intake. They can digest high levels of blood and when they consume too much iron, their body is fully equipped to get rid of the excess iron. Since you are not a bat. So, avoid it.

Step Nine:

Live life as you are immortal.

It is the core of the lifestyle of a vampire. There is an old saying that if you can't make it then fake it. Keep in mind that no one is immortal in this world even Dracula Tapes was killed by his son Alucard. Enjoy every moment of your life and don't hurry in anything.

Remember the quote:

“I am neither good nor bad, neither angel nor devil, I am a man, I am a vampire.”

Michael Romkey, I, Vampire

Step Ten:

Add false fangs on your canines.

You can visit a dentist in order to file your canines or to add up a tooth cap on them. Nowadays there are also super realistic looking tooth caps available.

Step Eleven:

Chose a night shift job.

Since, you are a vampire, you can't do any day job. The best thing is that you can do night jobs like a bartender, bouncer, Air Traffic Controller, Emergency Room Doctor, Medical Sonographer, Nurse, Physician Assistant, Firefighter, Paramedic/EMT, and Police Officer.

Step twelve:

Join any vampire community or fan club.

There are plenty of vampire fan clubs and communities in almost every area in all over the world. You can also easily join them on social media.